When Your Energy Bank Runs Low: Navigating Social Engagements and Recovery After the Event

For many living with chronic illness or chronic pain, social events can feel overwhelming. On one hand, we want connection and joy and on the other, we need to protect our energy and manage our anxiety. Balancing these needs can feel like walking a tightrope but with the right coping tools, strategies, and self-care, it’s possible to participate without compromising your well-being. Below are some suggestions and tips to manage events from start to finish!

Before the Event: Preparation & Intention

Preparation is key for managing chronic illness and chronic pain during social events. Start by clarifying why you want to attend. Connection, support, and joy are valid reasons but so is saying “no” when your energy is low.

Identify potential triggers, including lights, noise, smells, or emotional stressors that could worsen chronic pain or anxiety. Planning coping strategies in advance can be helpful when applicable like choosing quieter spaces, scheduling breaks or coordinating with a friend for support.

Set a realistic “energy budget” for yourself. Decide how long you’ll stay and what signals mean it’s time to leave. Communicating your boundaries ahead of time can reduce stress and ensure you feel supported.

During the Event: Staying Grounded

While at the event, stay connected to your body and your limits. Use self-care strategies like grounding exercises, deep breathing, and short breaks to regulate your nervous system and manage anxiety.

Remember, honouring your boundaries is a form of self-care, not failure. Stepping aside, taking a break, or leaving early are valid ways to protect your energy and manage chronic pain symptoms.

Leaving The Event: Aftercare & Recovery Mode

After leaving the event, recovery is essential for those managing chronic illness or chronic pain. Engage in gentle self-care such as rest, hydrate, use mindfulness, or follow soothing routines to regulate your nervous system.

Reflect on the experience: What strategies worked? What triggered anxiety or pain? Journaling or gentle reflection can help you learn from the experience and plan better coping tools for future events.

Reflection & Adaptive Learning

Create a personalized “Social Engagement Plan” to guide future events. Include strategies for managing chronic pain, anxiety, and fatigue, as well as self-care routines to recharge afterward. Over time, this can make social participation more predictable, manageable and hopefully even enjoyable.

Living with chronic illness or chronic pain doesn’t mean giving up social connection altogether. By planning, setting boundaries, and using practical coping tools and self-care strategies, you can engage in ways that honour both your body and your need for connection. Your energy, your boundaries, and your rhythm are valid and giving yourself permission to honour them is a powerful act of self-care.

Written by: Rachael Pogue (Registered Psychotherapist)